i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
