Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
