I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
