ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
