There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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