3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize