If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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