wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
