New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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