I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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