Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
