You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
