You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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