I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
