its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
