Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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