I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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