I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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