I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
