No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
