Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize