Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
