So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
