i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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