the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
