So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
