i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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