my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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