...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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