Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
