I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
