there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
