There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
