Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
