She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
