I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
