A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
