38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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