I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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