She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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