look no pants
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
