I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Still dying that you shit outside
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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