I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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