That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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