that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
