their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
