Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Me. At least after what I've been through.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
