why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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