Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
