dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
