and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
