the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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