Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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