I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i came on her dog
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
