babies were throwing up all over the place
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
