no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
someone owes me an orgasm
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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