the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
