so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
