Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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