I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
