ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
