i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
