I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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