dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
