Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
