I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
