he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
