my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
