she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
