She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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