Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
